Recently a friend’s marriage took a hit – her husband had met his “soulmate” and wanted to be with her. Naturally, as her friends, we were all furious and incredulous that a person could be so irresponsible and self-centred. It got me thinking again about what marriage is all about and what it meant to me.
To be frank, I do not believe in marriage as it is today. I feel that too many people take the easy way out and are too focused on “me” and what “I” want. Of course, not all couples should stay together, especially not if abuse is part of the relationship or if they have tried their best and it just doesn’t work out. But to me, there are too many cases where people get divorced because they just grow apart or they have fallen for someone else. To me, marriage is working at issues, forsaking all others for that one person because you made a vow, be it in front of whatever gods you believe in or just based on your own moral code.
If you have not tried to work it out, how can you simply say it’s done and say that it’s all a mistake? That’s ridiculous. Marriage is not all about passionate love and common ideology, it is love, understanding, compromise and most importantly, effort. There will be ups and downs, nobody’s perfect, no marriage is perfect, but there must be a willingness to try and resolve things together. Otherwise, why bother getting married?
Coincidentally, I read a post, a lady wrote about her marriage and the struggles in it and that to me is how a marriage should be like – not perfect, but where both parties grow together and support each other in this journey.